2016 - A Year In Review

This past year, I was somewhat diligent about not updating the blog. Two kids in school, even for part of the day, a few days a week, makes less time for dedicated fun. The time we do have, it's far easier and quicker to send a few photos to friends via text or a quick update on Facebook or Instagram to catalog our life.

I admit, I don't update Facebook for others. I use it for myself as a quick way to document our lives, to cherish the itty bitty moments that are precious to us, to cherish the every day adventures that are passing far too quickly. It's an online scrapbook to me.

This blog is a bit more personal than a photo and a few sentences. It is the details behind the single snapshot. The blog helps explain the reason behind our actions and has been a part of our family even before we were blessed with kids. Having said that...here goes our 2016 summary.

2016 was full of uncertainty for our family. We've been itching for change and feeling uncomfortable being too comfortable. There has to be more to life than living for a paycheck and paying the bills. Add in some anxiety, two small children, lots of demands and obligations, well it made decision making more difficult. But, we tried to make decisions anyway.

We've had it on our heart for MANY years to be involved in ministry have more purpose with our jobs/our family, but we had absolutely no idea how to do that, as neither T.J. or I are very extroverted. I had been involved in volunteering at church and school for quite sometime, actually every moment a child was in school, I was volunteering,  but it just didn't seem to be enough to occasionally serve others, we wanted to do it more often, make it more a part of our life each and every day.

It was on our heart to help start a church, from the ground up, even though it terrified us. So,  when someone we knew announced they were moving to start a church, we began prayerfully considering moving to join them. We met with them several times over the course of a few months, and in May, T.J. and I ventured South to scope out the city and pray about the future of our family. I am always up for adventure and change, and it's no secret I have always wanted to live away from my hometown. I went into this trip confident that we were moving and merely going as a formality to confirm it.

We prayed. A lot. We prayed to be in unison with our thinking, as this journey would be intended to bring us closer and not divide us. Landing at the airport, I was giddy with excitement. Fireworks went off in the distance as we landed, and it all just felt magical. Especially as the car rental company upgraded us to a convertible at no cost. It felt like God's hand was all over this trip. We prayed to slow our thinking and open our eyes. We prayed to see the situation, good and bad, known and unknown, to either be blown away or our emotions knocked down to blah. We prayed for a distinct role in this new organization that would match our skills, so we could be authentic and hit the ground running.

However, it became clear that my desire for our family was not God's plan, at least not there. At least not now.  I cried. I got mad at God. I grieved. It had all made sense...until it didn't. Back to square 1. We spent a lot of the summer kind of going through the motions, numb and unsure of what to do next.

Anxiety continued to rear it's ugly head and decided to stick around for the year.  But, we learned a lot along the way and are making great progress in healing.  We did make the much needed decision to take Elli out of her old school and start a new private school. I'm still very happy with this decision,  and have seen my baby girl regain the confidence and happiness that she had been missing in her old school. She's rocking good grades and we have seen such character growth in her.

Maya started her second year of preschool, and I am slowly adjusting to the idea that my girls are growing up. I suppose I had better get used to the idea given both will be in school all day next year. Luckily, Maya is still off school two days a week, which allows us to still get much needed quality/lazy time. 

Vacations are still a crucial part of our family time, so we made it a priority. You can read more about those here. 

The girls both took up fall soccer. Elliana showed such growth and athleticism on the field, and truly LOVED the sport. She scored her first goal and was so humble she barely acknowledged us cheering like crazy people from the sidelines. 

Maya loved the first game, and all of the practices, but actual games freaked her out. She gave great logic as to her reasons for not liking games : 

1. I don't like to play outside, only inside, because I was born inside. It's not my fault. 
2. Each week the other team changes their uniform color. It's weird. 
3. People just keep running to me. Why can't we walk? 
4. It's just not fun. Practice is fun. 

A few more highlights of 2016....

The tooth fairy came for the first time and visited 4 times in 2016

Maya began reading! 

 We jumped onto the American Girl doll bandwagon, one that I had tried to avoid, but now am so glad I embraced. These girls and their dolls, are just too stinking cute. Though, I was unaware of the additional time getting the dolls AND the children ready to go somewhere.

Overall, 2016 was a great year. We still don't know what the future holds for our family, but we are learning to embrace the unknown and find peace in knowing that God's plan for our family is so much more than we can hope for. 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Tea Party Birthday Celebration

Maya was adamant she wanted a tea party celebration for her third birthday. And so, the tea party preparations began!

 I found this tea pot fabric one day and designed the party around it....knowing that I had high aspirations to make fancy tea party dresses. This was my most complicated dress pattern I had yet to make, but I loved the halter style neckline and flowing skirt, so I had to at least give it a try!

Maya spinning in circles, with delight...

Skipping an hour of sleep here and there allowed me to make matching dresses for both Elliana and Maya...which I was very pleased with the results.

Skipping an hour of sleep here and there allowed me to make matching dresses for both children...which I was very pleased with the results.

Given I had spent most of my birthday budget on fabric (seriously, even with coupons, how on Earth is fabric SO expensive?!), I had to make some thrifty shopping choices for the rest of the party.  I scored a complete coordinating set of tea cups and saucers at Goodwill that matched the colors I had already decided to use.

Set of 8 cups and saucers...$6

For snacks and food we served pink cupcakes, finger foods and lots of chocolate covered goodies. Pink lemonade and sweet tea were also served. 

tea party snacks, dainty and cute...

more yummy decadent snacks

Despite the food and table decorations, I still felt the party needed more decorations, but low on cost. I raided my scrapbook paper to find coordinating colors and used this template to cut out tea pot shapes. Once they were cut out, I taped them (yes, high class, I know) to the tulle I had left over from another sewing project. Wah- la! A practically free themed birthday banner for the family room. 

And then, because I was somewhat used to not sleeping at this point, I used the same template to make two more teapots, and made my own pull string pinata in the colors of the tea party. I had learned from my previous party planning days that young children and hitting at pinatas do not mix, so pull string pinata was definitely the way to go! 

Lucky for me, Easter was a few weeks ahead and the cute hats, pearls, gloves and purses were purchased for each girl from the Dollar Spot at Target. We used these cute girly accessories as party favors and adorned the chairs for added decoration.  

For crafts, we used even more tea pot templates pre-cut and gave the girls glitter, pom poms and markers to create their own tea pot to take home. If the party were for an older age group, paint your own pottery would have been fun, but for the target audience of three-year olds...that wasn't in the cards.  

decorating their own tea pots...

At last, present time and cupcakes arrived. I admit, I love that sea of little girls in hats as the birthday girl opens her presents...such a pretty sight! 

The birthday girl selected pink cupcakes, with pink sprinkles of course...

Happy Tea Party to All, and to all a good night! 

Maya - Three Years Old

Last month, we celebrated our this sweet girls birthday. It's still hard to believe that she is already three years old, and a full fledged big kid. No diapers. No pacifiers. Big Girl bed. She's growing up, and what a wonderful little girl she is becoming.


I love Maya's optimism and adventure for life. No ride is too big for this little girl. In fact, sometimes I pray for a healthy level of fear to encompass her as she is so confident and fearless, it is sometimes dangerous.

We began the big day with a pancake breakfast, then ventured to the zoo where we were blessed with amazingly perfect weather! We rode the carousel, observed noisy monkeys and celebrated life to the fullest! Family time is truly wonderful!

 Maya is truly Mommy's little buddy, and we share much more in common than a birthday. We love to craft, sew, cuddle, and crave adventure. We hate shoes and prefer to be barefoot. We love warm weather, the ocean and sand. Sunshine truly makes us happy and we can feel more alive when the sun warms our skin. We are peas in a pod and this little girl is always by my side!

Maya helping me sew

Miss Maya, you are a delight. I am honored to be your momma. Thank you for your constant love, happiness, joy and adventure. Though, the adventure of you stripping at the store last week and running around naked does not need to be relived again anytime soon. :)

Bye Bye Crib!

We knew this day was coming. In fact, we held out longer making this transition than we had with Elliana. After all, Maya is our baby! Our last born! But, we could hold out no longer....we have a trip quickly approaching and Maya simply won't fit into a pack and play any longer. She needed to get ready for a big kid bed!!

In traditional Berndsen family tradition, we took a photo documenting Maya's last night in her crib. We had already given her room a fresh coat of paint changing it from a "nursery" to a "big kid room" with just the removal of brown and the addition of gray. Disassembling the crib and making the move to her new bed was the last step.

The next morning we began taking apart the crib that has been a part of our house the last 6 years! I was determined to not cry, as this was a good thing. But, a bitter sweet reminder of just how quickly the time goes.

Practicing in her new bed...

Comfy and Cozy with her new bedding

Currently we have her bed on the ground to make it as low to the ground as possible, and get her comfortable with her new big kid bed!

Big Kid room in the making, with a few friends to join her!

The first night...Maya went to bed like a champ! She crawled right into bed, fell right asleep! It was hard to believe it was that easy!! Well, it was until 2:00 when a bad dream awoke her and kept her awake most of the night.

Night #2, was MUCH better. Pre-bed time, Daddy removed all "scariness" that Maya was concerned about and tucked her in tight. Just look at those cuties smiling so proudly. Maya slept all night long and even slept in until 8:30 am! Whew! What a big girl!!

And tonight marks night number three. We officially have a big girl on our hands. Maya, we are so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished! 

Maya and her bah-bahs

We typically are pretty strict about pacifier usage ("bah-bah" as it

is loving referred to), limiting it to car time, stroller time and bed

time only...until the age of three when we really start discouraging

it all together.

Maya, at just over 2.5 years knows her time with her favorite

"bah-bahs" is quickly dwindling, and she intends to take full

advantage of usage whenever permitted. So, imagine my shock when last

night, Maya requested to go to sleep with NO bah-bahs! Before I

thought about it too much, I quickly ran walked to her crib to remove

the bah-bahs before she changed her mind. I removed 7 from her bed!

Maya politely asked for lipstick (princess chapstick- a treat only for

non-pacifier users).

She puckered her lips, put her hand on her hips, and then twirled to

show off her floor length nightgown and immediately I saw images of my

baby girl preparing for Prom Night. She insisted on going to bed with

no pacifiers and slept 11 straight hours without her most favorite

item for sleep. When she awoke at 6:30 this morning asking for

bah-bah, I happily obliged. Afterall, I'm not THAT eager for my baby

to grow up!! Maya went back to sleep until 7:45, what a pleasant way

to start the day!!

Throughout the day, Maya asked for bah-bah more often than usual. So,

again I was surprised when she went to bed AGAIN tonight with NO

pacifiers and just a beautiful shiny coat of princess chap stick.

We are officially out of diapers, almost done with pacifiers, requests

for a big kid bed have been made. My baby is growing up, and what a

marvelous little girl she is becoming.

Maya - 2.5 Years/30 months

Oh Maya, you bring us such joy! Your spirit of adventure, lack of fear and overall love for life is truly contagious! At Kings Island last week, you begged to go on rides for kids three times your size but settled for the kiddie land with a humble and grateful attitude.

You live and breathe playing! From the moment you wake, until you go to sleep each night, you are busy with play. Your "friends" travel with you in a purse or backpack and even join us for meals most days. Every friend has a name, and you make sure each and every friend is involved.

Dinner at LaRosa's with a few of Maya's friends

 You are happy to just be involved. Shopping, running errands, you make me laugh of loud. I love quality time with you, watching your personality develop, hear you ask questions from such a fresh perspective.

Last week, we dropped Elliana off at school, and I said something like this, "Maya, I think we need to go to the grocery, but what sounds fun to you?" Without hesitation,  you answered, "Um, vacation. I think we should go on vacation now!" Half way through the grocery store, you yelled, "Can we go on vacation now?!"

You find joy in all you do, and can quickly turn helping Mommy in the kitchen into a game of hide and seek. I love hearing little giggles echo through the closet where you are hiding. If I pretend to look for you, and ask, "Where's Maya?" your genuine concern that I might be worried makes you answer every time. While reading your favorite book, I Love My New Toy by Mo Willems, there is a part of the book where the main characters cry. As I read the crying aloud, every time you hug me tight and ensure me it will be okay. You are so sensitive and sweet.  I pray for this sweetness and love for others to last!

It is currently nap time, and I can hear through the baby monitor the adorable singing, talking and playing of you from your crib. Napping is pretty rare now, but you remain pleasant even without the extra sleep.

I love you sweet girl! I love your strong will, your personality and your love for life. And I LOVE being your momma!

Bye Bye Diapers!

The day I had been dreading was finally here. The day I had postponed and built up in my head over and over again. The day of POTTY TRAINING!

Maya had been expressing interest off and on for a few months now, but we I never took her too seriously. We would occasionally put on her the potty and praise her efforts, never really knowing when to make it a full-time commitment. Well, I did know that it shouldn't be BEFORE the 9+ hour car ride we had scheduled for late June. So, I committed to myself that I would start the process immediately following that car ride. That meant Thursday. Like 5 days ago Thursday.

By noon on Day 1, after cleaning up three accidents and spending most of the day on the floor of the bathroom (coaxing, helping, wiping, cleaning up, reading and encouraging) I was seriously wondering why on Earth I felt the need to start this process now.

The day ended with three accidents and 7 successes. I was amazed at her determination and bladder control. Day 2- 2 accidents, 8 successes. Wow...were we really about to say goodbye to diapers?!

Day 3. 1 accident.

Day 4 - 0 accidents and dry overnight and nap diaper!

Day 5 - 0 accidents and a jam packed day at the museum and library!

It's bittersweet to no longer have to change diapers. More sweet than it is bitter. Bitter as I officially no longer have a baby in my family. We have this thriving, determined toddler who won't let size or age stop her from anything she has her heart set on.

I cherish the "potty dance" she does when she celebrates her achievements. The giddy yet humble smile she has when we make a big fuss over all that she has done. The incessant yet determined way she asks for her potty reward every single day. 

I love you sweet girl. We are so very proud of you and your latest milestone!

Maya - 26 Months

It's been a while since I've done an update, and Maya is changing and growing so fast I feel I'll miss something if I don't document this abundance of cuteness. 

 Maya, your sense of adventure way beyond your age! You scale playground equipment and obstacles designed for children at least twice your age, all with no hesitation or request for help. 

On vacation last month, you insisted on riding the big wheel and kept saying, "Maya do it! No scary!" Browsing through tourist brochures you would find "the wheel" and get so excited announced, "I DO IT!" And sure enough, we did it...and you LOVED it. Just like you said you would. 

Playing dress up and princesses...one of your favorite activities.  You twirl, spin, dance and climb until you announce you are dizzy, and then you do it all again.

 You are still in love with your ba-bah (pacifier), and it has quickly become your best friend with the recent arrival of your molars. It's been a rough few weeks of painful molars and a small stomach bug has allowed you to have your friend during waking hours as well as nap time. 

Naps are hit and miss, napping only 3-4 days a week. You still sleep in a crib, but have made several requests for a big kid bed. On a recent trip to the Smoky Mountains, you passed out in the hiking backpack, and were so stinking cute I couldn't help but take more than a couple of photos. :) 

Tonight at bedtime, you asked to say the prayer. This has happened before, but then shrug your shoulders and say, "Don't know how." Tonight though, you thanked God for healing your boo-boo. You thanked God for your family. You told him you loved him. Oh how my heart smiled. 

I love that when  Daddy or I say, "I love you", you smile and say, "thank you." You love your gymnastics class, and giddily call it "nastics". You tumble and attempt cartwheels all week long in preparation of your 45 minute class. This past week, Daddy was even able to come, which you beamed and talked about all week! 

A few funny facts about you at the moment: 

You are crazy fearless, unless a butterfly is involved....then you cling to me like crazy 

 You eat ice cream cones backwards. It creates a big mess and bigger laughter. 

 3. You are IN LOVE with your sister. Randomly you run up to Elliana, and hug her and yell, "Nani, sisters!" You two are always together, hugging, running, jumping and even fighting. You truly do love one another! 

 4. You say my name is "Mommy Ashley." Not sure where you picked it up from, but it's cute and it's all you. 

5. After getting a blister on your foot two weeks ago, you now insist on wearing socks. At all times. Yes, even in the shower. The boo-boo has healed, but those socks remain on. Full on tantrum when we try to remove them!