Maybe "Because of" is Better

I tried answering the question of "why?" with the good things that have come through the grief Ashley and I have been through, but I realized from some friends tonight, the good aren't answering the "why?", but the good are coming out of the "because of".  This is an important difference and I'm so grateful to have had such an inspiring distinction made to me.

A child wasn't taken from us so we could have a better or stronger relationship.  We have a better and stronger relationship because of the child who was taken from us.  A child wasn't taken from us so we could have a stronger love for Elliana.  We have a stronger love for Elliana because of the child who was taken from us.  A child wasn't taken from us so we could become closer to God.  We are closer to God because of a child who was taken from us.  I'll add that the changes in the future, the changes in me, the new decisions I make, and the new adventures that otherwise wouldn't have happened aren't why we lost a child but will be because we did.

Nobody will ever or needs to know why it happened.  Sometimes bad things just happen.  That is part of the past.  Those things that happen because of the bad we can look at.  Those we can find reason behind.  Those we can make part of a new life going forward never forgetting the tragedy that initiated them.

Thanks John and Carrie!